About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
