I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
