I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
