It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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