i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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