Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
