Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
