rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
