It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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