3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize