Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
