Dual....:-)
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
