oh god the rape fog is back!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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