yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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