just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
