Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
