I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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