it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
