just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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