he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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