The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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