i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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