a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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