Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
