Are we in a gay sports bar?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
