ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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