Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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