Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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