But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this beer tastes like vomit already
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
