pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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