dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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