it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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