wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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