what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
