I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
