Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
