I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
