I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
