What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
