Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
