i used baking grease as lip gloss
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
