another moral hangover. fuck.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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