I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
