question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
