do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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