somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
