whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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