Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
