And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
