She said her name was "party"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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