Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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