I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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