Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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