how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
