just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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